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I'm not even sure I know where to begin with this. Essentially, Lee Redmond, a wholly terrifying woman, had fingernails she had not cut since 1979. As a result, they were absurdly long and disgusting and inhuman. Recently, Redmond was involved in a car crash in which her fingernails were broken, and therefore no longer looks like this:
And it's beginning in Wills Point, Texas:
Most spiders are solitary creatures. So the discovery of a vast web crawling with millions of spiders that is spreading across several acres of a North Texas park is causing a stir among scientists, and park visitors.
Sheets of web have encased several mature oak trees and are thick enough in places to block out the sun along a nature trail at Lake Tawakoni State Park, near this town about 50 miles east of Dallas.
The gossamer strands, slowly overtaking a lakefront peninsula, emit a fetid odor, perhaps from the dead insects entwined in the silk. The web whines with the sound of countless mosquitoes and flies trapped in its folds.
Allen Dean, a spider expert at Texas A&M University, has seen a lot of webs, but even he described this one as “rather spooky, kind of like Halloween.”
The only thing that disgusts me more than a spider is a gigantic, stinking web of millions of spiders spreading across several acres. No fucking thanks. Even at 38 years old, I cannot accept the fact that spiders aren't malevolent hellspawn that consume flesh and poison souls. Burn them all.
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